My purpose

As a child I grew up in a very noisy home.  When we got mad, we screamed, yelled and got it out.  As an adult I realized I didn't really want all the screaming in my house. On May 9, 2005 God blessed me with a beautiful little girl, Olivia.  I promised myself at that point I wouldn't be a screamer as I raised my children.  I wanted to always stay level headed and never have my children feel what it felt like to be screamed at.  And, that was in the first hour of her life....boy did times change. 

Over the last couple of years my house has become the most chaotic place on earth, 90% of the time  I won't even allow some one in the front door of my home. This is one of the most frustrating things in my life.  This is one of the number one reasons I yell and scream.  I just haven't had the energy or stamina to get everyone to take their part.   I know you say, why on earth would you put that on the web for all to read, but this blog is about finding me...the dirt and the grime come with that.  I said on a previous post that Unsolicited advice had challenged me to develop my purpose statement.  As I started going through the questionnaire she provided I realized I was failing in many areas. There are so many areas in my life that would be so much less chaotic if I would just get organized. 

The first question was is your house an embarrassment...Well, DUH!! Yep!

The list kept going on and on causing me to really question myself.  I realized that the yelling and the screaming I do because my house is a mess, isn't everyone else's fault.  It is ME, I am the one yelling and screaming, I am making that poor choice.  No one listens, everyone just stands with their mouth hanging open staring at me.  How utterly effective is that?? Um, not so much....

So, here goes my purpose statement:

I want my children to look back on life and remember a calm, clean, loving environment where mommy took time to play.  I want them to always be proud of who their mommy is, and how she took care of them.  I also want to get back to being proud to be me, comfortable in my own skin, ready to entertain on a moments notice. I want to be my husband's Help Mate, and make him love being with his family.  I also want loving God and depending on him to become the focus of my home.

Those all seem like such lofty statements, but I really do look forward to finding ME...Come join this journey with me.